Member post: The way my daughter (8) talks to me is so nasty. Her voice is elevated (yelling) and she is downright mean. I get her to be sweet for a few minutes and then it comes back. I snap after dealing with it for an hour. It’s unacceptable! Please help!!
Rachel’s response: This happens a LOT at the beginning of the school year. Ugh. Kids are tired and “on alert” since things are so new, and they have to follow all these new rules. It stinks for them and therefore it stinks for us.
So this (unacceptable) behavior is very likely a sign of her Yuck. I’d do a few things:
*Be sure she’s getting good sleep.
*Talk to her about what you’ve noticed (that she’s being nasty) in a very safe, non-confrontational way. You can let her know that things need to change. Ask her if there’s anything she can think of that she needs. If she can answer that, GREAT.
If she isn’t sure what’s making her so upset, consider:
*If this happens when she gets home from school, make sure she has a.) a snack and b.) some time doing something that makes her feel good. She’ll need to decompress, just like we do after a long day.
*If you think something is bothering her, consider doing a daily Yuck dump so she isn’t holding it all inside.
And of course, do review and PRACTICE her healthy Yuck Release Strategies.
My daughter has been nastier than usual lately too, so I’m in this with you. We’ll get through it together!