ALLIE GREENE’S PERSONALIZED PARENTING PLAN
Your Personalized Parenting Plan will be created AS YOU GO THROUGH THE STAGES LISTED BELOW.
At each stage, you will will receive instructions for progressing to the next stage.
As you complete these stages, tools/tips will be added to your personal toolbox and plan.
START HERE
STAGE 1: Why Does My Child Keep Doing That?!
STAGE 2: Quick Wins
STAGE 3: Building Your Influence
STAGE 4: Handling Behavior In the Moment
STAGE 5: Making Changes Last
Getting Kids to Do What They're Supposed to Do
Overview
Generally, getting kids to do what they’re supposed to do is about identifying WHY they’re not doing what they’re supposed to do and teaching them the tools to be successful. Then in the moment, it’s about being firm and focusing on those tools.
The main reasons WHY kids don’t do what they’re supposed to do are:
- They have trouble persisting in montonous tasks (getting dressed, doing homework, going to bed, etc.)
- They have trouble transitioning from engaging tasks to what we want them to do (getting off of electronics to come to the dinner table, etc.)
- They have trouble handling discomfort / Yuck and defy/avoid as an unhealthy coping mechanism (they don’t know how to do something uncomfortable so they ignore you). Having low emotional needs accounts (such as feeling not in control) can also lead to this behavior.
WHAT WORKS FOR YOU
From your Quick Win: When you tried to get through dinner in a reasonable amount of time, what helped was:
~GIVING THEM SOME CONTROL: Allowing them to reject your ideas and come up with their own; involving them in the decisions and planning of meals. (Allowing Cooper to have some say in his assignments helped him as well.)
~SETTING REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS: Recognizing that things go more smoothly with kid-friendly meals
Required Tools
Teaching kids to transition effectively (link to come in Stage 3)
Teaching kids to handle monotonous tasks (link to come in Stage 3)
Using Joint Problem solving (link to come in Stage 3)
Teaching kids to handle discomfort (link to come in Stage 3)
Responding to defiant behavior in the moment (link to come in Stage 4)
Phrases to Use
Coming soon
Building Cooper's Resilience (Handling the Unexpected, Frustration, and Disappointment)
Overview
Coming soon
Tools to Use
Teaching kids to handle discomfort (link to come in Stage 3)
Depositing into emotional needs (link to come in Stage 3)
Responding to avoidance / lack of resilience in the moment (link to come in Stage 4)
Phrases to Use
Coming soon
Building Cameron's Resilience (Handling When Things Aren't Fair, Frustration, and Disappointment)
Overview
Coming soon
Tools to Use
Teaching kids to handle discomfort (link to come in Stage 3)
Depositing into emotional needs (link to come in Stage 3)
Responding to avoidance / lack of resilience in the moment (link to come in Stage 4)
Phrases to Use
Coming soon
Teaching Kids to Identify Feelings and Solve Issues
Overview
Coming soon
Required Tools
Helping kids identify feelings (link to come in stage 3)
Empowering kids to solve their problems (link to come in stage 3)
Helping kids identify and solve issues in the moment (link to come in Stage 4)
Phrases to Use
Coming soon
Helping Allie Parent With Less Emotion
Overview
Staying calm is mostly about doing PROACTIVE work — recognizing our triggers (and how our “stories” make us more upset), setting appropriate expectations, and making deposits into ourselves.
Ideally, IN THE MOMENT we can recognize that we’re about to lose our cool, pause, and manage our Yuck in a healthy way. In that way, we serve as a role model, demonstrating to kids what it looks like to NOT let emotions control us.
WHAT WORKS FOR YOU
From your Quick Win: When Cooper was resistant to doing his assignment, what helped you was:
FOCUSING ON STAYING CALM: While it might not have helped Cooper, it did help your blood pressure.
TAKING A BREAK: Helped both you and Cooper stay out of too much Yuck.
Required Tools
Handling our parenting triggers (link to come in stage 3)
Making deposits into our emotional needs (link to come in stage 3)
Staying calm in the moment (link to come in Stage 4)
Phrases to Use
Coming soon
DOCUMENTS
The Firm + Respectful Model
Your Worksheets
TOOLS LIST
(This list will be built as you go through the program)
NOTES AND QUESTIONS
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