Comment from member: I really liked your recent email about kids with big emotions. One thing that I realized while my toddler was whining at me earlier this week is that I tend to react to every little cry or scream or whatever loud emotion that she seems to be having. After doing this all day I am exhausted. I realized that this was happening and made a plan that I’m not going to react to every single emotional outburst! I plan to respond to direct questions or if she was in need of physical help to get unstuck or something. I also made a mental stop sign to help me detach, like o say “oh baby is upset” and once I say that I stop talking. My child starting saying “are you ok?” like a hundred times a day when she was playing by herself…a weird thing for a one year old….which is a sign that I say that to her a lot! I think I thought I was being attentive, but I am thinking it’s possible that it’s not allowing her own space to express emotion and at the same time tiring me out. Allowing your child to express ugly emotions is a hard one for me to get used to! Your video and email has given me a lot of insight and reinforced my own recent perceptions. Working on this!
Reply from Rachel: YES. It’s SOOO hard but so liberating when we can give them the space to have their emotions.
And if we’re being honest, most of us growing up were not allowed to have those emotions… so it’s hard for us to let our kids. But as you said, reacting to them is exhausting!