Addressing Issues With Schoolwork

Watch this video to get you started on your plan!

Click here or on the graphic below to download the 4R Response Plan template that you’ll complete for dealing with schoolwork issues in your home. 

Use the prompts and hints below to use The 4R Response Method template to create your personalized plan! 

Questions? Come to the 4R Response Method Practice Sessions or fill out this form to ask questions! (I’ll answer forms in the live practice session and email the recording to you.)

We’ll  start with reducing your Yuck so you can handle this situation effectively and in a way that makes you feel good.

Once you’ve watched the video, use these video time markers to find the section that refers to each part of The 4R Response Method plan:

What is your chapter? – 0:26
Why do you get triggered? – 0:56
What happens when you respond from your Yuck / triggers? – 1:37
How do you WANT to address this situation? – 1:50
What do you need in order to align with your Avatar, not your Yuck? (What have you done in the past? How will you get what you need?) – 2:21

Now we’ll build your response when dealing with negative homework interactions.
Note: If you are new to this process, changing ANY of these areas of your response will be a step in the right direction!

Once you’ve watched the video, use these video time markers to find the section that refers to each part of The 4R Response Method plan:

What is NOT in your control in this situation? What IS in your control? – 0:09
How would your Avatar handle this situation? – 0:53

Create a when-then plan… 1:04

What will you do to REGULATE yourself? – 1:21
What will you do to show that you care about the ROADBLOCK you’re addressing? – 2:02
What do you need in order to let them ROUND the Yuck Curve? – 3:03

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“RESPOND EFFECTIVELY” EXAMPLES

– When-Then Statements: Responses related to schoolwork

– Script: Addressing homework-related Yuck 

– Script: When your child resists doing homework after school (but has to)

Now let’s identify WHY your child isn’t able to do what they’re supposed to do with their schoolwork. Remember that roadblocks are usually related to your Expectations, their missing Skills, or their Yuck.

Once you’ve watched the video, use these video time markers to find the section that refers to each part of The 4R Response Method plan:

What is your child’s chapter? – 0:29
Expectation-based roadblocks – 0:59
Yuck-based roadblocks – 1:59
Skill-based roadblocks – 2:45

Remember to choose (circle) ONE roadblock that you have the desire and energy to tackle now. You can come back to the others later!

Finally, let’s identify a proactive ROUTINE (that you can take action on!) that will start to reduce the negativity around schoolwork to begin with.

Once you’ve watched the video, use the video time markers to refer back to an explanation of the routines to address each roadblock. Then, use the included resources to learn & practice your routine.

Expectations-based roadblocks (0:41)

• ROADBLOCK: Setting unrealistic expectations that create Yuck 
  Routine: Create a realistic boundary

Yuck-based roadblocks (1:32)

• ROADBLOCK: Child is hungry or tired (1:39)
  Routine: Use Joint Problem Solving to come up with a new plan for when to do homework 
• ROADBLOCK: They feel like they don’t have control over when and how to do their homework (2:05)
  ROUTINE: Use Joint Problem Solving to come up with a new plan that gives them more control 
• ROADBLOCK: They feel like we don’t care that they hate doing homework (2:28)
  ROUTINE: Deposit into their “Significance” account 

Skills-based roadblocks

• ROADBLOCK: Child hasn’t mastered the skill of staying engaged when a task is boring (3:16)
  ROUTINE: Teach them to focus in during boring tasks
• ROADBLOCK: Child hasn’t mastered the skill of handling discomfort maturely (3:32)
  ROUTINE: Help them create a strategy to persist when uncomfortable 

Want some examples? Check out these completed plans:

– Sample 4R Plan: Son complains about homework rather than doing homework

– Sample 4R Plan: Daughter rushes through homework

If you’ve got your plan, but want to learn even more strategies for what causes this behavior, and how to deal with it, I’ve included videos and podcast episodes for you below:

Video: How to Teach Kids to Do Boring Schoolwork

Video: Reducing Negativity Over Schoolwork

Video: Negative school-related behaviors are often simply under-developed executive functioning skills

Podcast: Motivate kids to do homework by teaching tools

Want to see what other parents have already asked about getting a child to do homework? I’ve linked to some past FB threads below (feel free to weigh in!)

When your child lies about having homework

Handling homework stress

Homework is boring

After-school routines

When a child resists a tutor